They talk about miracles, unexplained by medicine, from the impact of stress on our very nature to our cellular structure and I found myself in ecstasy. I was extraordinarily stressed. I sit and wait to listen to the conclusion, almost scoffing at the idea that a charged crystal could eliminate my fertility issues.
Then, as the two grew more comfortable, I fidgeted. Uncomfortable. Vulnerable. Just when I was about to close my laptop and try again tomorrow, something called me back.
“So what if we can’t explain why this is happening,” Emma said. “What if it was the placebo effect.”
So what? I thought, puzzled.
“Why not believe in a little magic, if it helps you find peace.” Emma is finished.
There and then, something clicked. Ironically, I think that’s the lesson my poor mum has taught me since day one. To relax, to have faith, to find peace.
And so, I leaned over, completely.
What ensued was a four-day quest for what would help me reconnect with my body. I walked through each session, learning how scent can induce feelings of calm and serenity. How astrology can help solidify dates, supporting some of the big decision making that IVF can throw at us. How nutrition is about what you can eat, not what you can’t.
Instead of seeing my list of things I *had* to do grow, I saw that what I actually had was the opportunity to cook up a special kind of ritual recipe. One that was tailor-made to facilitate my struggle. The one who could nourish the soul. A little of this, a little of that. Release the pressure here, find calm there. Enjoy creating magic, so magic can happen.
And just like that, I saw possibilities – not obstacles.
At the closing session, I felt relief. Not that it’s over, but because now I could try to create my own comfort.
There are inexplicable things that can happen. Miracles, if you will. Coincidences, if not. Either way, my well-being is somehow more firmly front and center. I eat the food I love, I exercise with a PT, I take time to slow down and think about nothing, I read books again at night, I sing mercilessly to Madonna while driving to and from my dates, instead of sitting in icy silence.
Now I carefully monitor my energy levels and give up pushing too hard. Remembering our work seminar on the womb and the importance of simply listening internally to what the body is telling you. Trust your instincts, after all – it’s our second brain.
I put my peace on a pedestal, knowing that I am doing all I can to shape what the future holds for me.
In the end, what will be, will be. And no matter what, I’ll be fine.